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Discussions - On Other Matters - View Post - Archive
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Date
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10/25/2008 6:17:53 PM
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Posted By
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Nostradama |
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Subject
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Addenda for cats
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The kitchen counter is not an elevated freeway for your use. It is an altar sacred to human beings for their worship of the only god worthy of devotion and praise--the Cat God. Your physical presence on the altar is not required. Which leads to: Jumping on the altar during the heat of summer and parking your butt on an uncovered pound of butter is not a necessary part of the ritual of worship.
Your veterinarian is your friend, despite the fact that she is the one who deprived you of any interest in the feline edition of "Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Sex." Thus, it is not compassionate to behave while visiting your veterinarian in a fashion which requires her to pre-equip herself and your supplier of the good life with a stack of bandaids on the examining table. Nor is it amusing that you repeatedly spit out the feline Valium which your everyday provider has been given to dose you with before visits to the clinic. (Did you know that both humans require similar medication upon these occasions?)
It is infeline (a parallel to inhumane) to demonstrate your uncanny instinct for detecting those humans who either are sufficiently mentally disturbed to not like cats or are allergic to them by greeting them as they enter your home with the affection and zeal of a politician running for elected office but who is currently falling in the pre-election polls.
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