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Discussions - Nontraditional Sex - View Post - Archive
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Date
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7/16/2008 5:12:35 PM
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Posted By
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SheWhoMustNotBeNamed |
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Subject
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Re: B&D....S&M....
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When I explored my interest in BD/SM, I tried the dominant role. What I found was that it wasn't very satisfying or interesting, even though I'd had so many fantasies about it. I enjoyed being dominated and spanked more than being the giver. With some introspection, I came to the conclusion that my fantasies were sadistic, not dominant.
BD/SM offers the ability to transform scary or painful or emotionally difficult feelings into positive ones by allowing us to play out scenarios that end up giving pleasure. It is kind of a paradoxical outcome. I thought it would be satisfying to give pain to someone who really wanted and enjoyed it, thereby transforming something negative in my psyche to something positive and gaining some satisfaction and catharsis.
But I never had a partner, who really wanted to be hurt, so I always held back and never really enjoyed it. I'm sure it would be difficult to inflict real pain on someone who really wanted it even. So I'm a real wimp as a dom.
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