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Discussions - Nontraditional Sex - View Post - Archive
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Date
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8/21/2008 7:34:48 PM
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Posted By
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Kostar |
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Subject
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Partial answer
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We were looking for people who were similar to us - either a married couple or a couple like us, married to others but stable together. In our age range - 40's/50's, well-educated professionals, non-smokers, preferably both bi or at least bi-curious, relatively new to the couples-scene and interested in developing a relationship - not just a one-time thing. We wanted people who were not too picky about looks, and who could meet on weekday afternoons.
This isn't really what you asked about, but at this point, I can tell you a little about the frustrations of the search - for whatever that might be worth to others who might be considering going down this path.
We started with Craigslist, basically because it is free and easily accessible. We didn't post our own ad - just read other's. VERY few people that we responded to actually replied to us. Probably 98% of the responses we sent were totally ignored.
Then we tried Swing Life Style - actually created a profile and posted some faceless photos. Again, probably 95% of the profiles that we responded to didn't reply. Quite a few people wrote to us who clearly had NOT read our profile because they were totally ignoring criteria that we specified... (for example that we can only meet on weekday afternoons) This was also a free account.
Then we added AFF to the list - actually paid for a 1 month, gold membership. At first we tried it with no photos and got very little response. Then we posted a faceless photo and the views and responses shot up dramatically. It is on this site that we had the best experience and the best luck (ironically, this is also where we met 3 years ago). However, let me give you a quick list of the problems we encountered:
- people who just don't respond at all
- single guys who write even tho you make it clear in your profile that you are interested in COUPLES only
- couples who are also looking for friends to do other social things with - like go to movies and out for dinner and camping, etc... - we just can't do the things that traditional couples can do
- couples who were VERY specific about what they were looking for in physical appearance (like specifying 8" or bigger) We saw a lot of "hwp" which means height/weight proportionate - a polite way of saying anyone who is overweight need not apply.
- couples who were married and were not interested in meeting couples who are not married.
- Couples who are very active in the swinging lifestyle and have had LOTS of playmates.
- People who won't talk with you unless you will send them face photos.
Then there are the guys who "pose" as a married couple to get their foot in the door, but then can never actually produce a wife or girlfriend who is willing and able to meet. Wasted a few days on one of these guys.
And then there are the guys who get you up to the meeting point and then say "Oh, my wife's not really ready for this"..... One guy wasted 2 weeks of our time with this one.
Most commonly, the most difficult thing was finding people who can play on weekday afternoons. It's hard enough to coordinate 2 people with full time jobs, let alone 4 people with jobs.
We also found it rare to find a couple where both people identified as bi or bi curious. Most commonly, the female was bi but the male was straight, at least in their profile.
So far, the couple we have met meet all of the criteria I listed above - they were also getting frustrated with their search and about to give up before finding us. (I actually don't remember who contacted whom first.)
I will keep you posted - thanks for asking!
:)Ko
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