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Discussions - Humor - View Post - Archive
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Date
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6/2/2008 4:33:04 PM
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Posted By
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shewolf |
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Subject
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a
CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!
JOHN MC CAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he
recognized the need to engage in cooperation and
dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of
the road.
HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little
chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me
uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! --
that every chicken in this country gets the chance it
deserves to
cross the road. But then, this really
isn't about me.......
DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't
realize that he must first deal with the problem on
'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the
problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need
to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by
not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding
'NEW' problems.
OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having
problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so
bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his
mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm
going to give this chicken a car so that he can just
drive across the road and not live his life like the
rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.
We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of
the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us.
There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we
have not yet been allowed to have access to the other
side of the road.
JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I
am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and
I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not
for it now, and will remain against it.
NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You
can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that
chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market
to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a
certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a
toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it
crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.
GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the
road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road,
and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the
heart warming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to
accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
together, in peace.
BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only
cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important
documents, and balance your check book. Internet
Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new
platform is much more stable and will never
cra...#@&&^(C% .......... reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road
move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is
your definition of chicken?
AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?
DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?
AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black
chickens.
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